Skip to main content

Posts

Welcome Back!!! Year 2025!!!

Claire Margaret Well long time no speak, where do i begin???? So above me here is my new Logo i created myself as a label that can hopefully grow and become familiar all over the world as if it was a symbol for greatness... and i hope i can bring greatness into amother addicts life, maybe its someone who has hiven up all hope, theyre really at rock bottom and to them it doesnt matter if theyre a mother, father, brother or sister, they just want out because living in active addiction is living in hell!!! Anyways change of topic as I am very tired but this blog post is a little late so i need to make it quick but the fact that i am following through says alot which is a massive thing when you get sober, your word becomes your word and that becomes trustworthy. okay so its coming up 2 years since i found out my dad was dead on his bedroom floor with his door baracaded and a smashed window with the bedroom and everything in it soaked with blood oh and he also had maggots in his body be...
Post a Comment
Read more
Recent posts

118 days

I made it to 118 days clean and sober, woohoo! I am 13 weeks into rehab, I graduate on the 14th December 2023 then stick around until the 9th January 2024, then I am off to another rehab for a further 16 weeks until the end of April 2024. I feel so blessed to have all of these opportunities, I truly feel like I am just starting my life for the first time in 30 years. People at rehab have been commenting on my slight weight loss, ive been eating healthy and exercising everyday so it's about time! I feel great! drugs never made me thin if anything they made me really unfit, atleast now I have some form of a fitness level and muscle tone, im still a big girl but I will get there. I cant believe how well I look compared to when I was on the meth and GHB. I am so proud of myself! I have a plan for after rehab and thats to get a job in a animal shelter or a veterinary clinic, I have started a course in animal care whilst I am in rehab as I am very passionate about animals since I was ...
Post a Comment
Read more

90 days!

yesterday I hit 90 days, I can not believe it, I am so proud of myself. The growth in the last 11 months is unbelievable , I don't know when the last time I was 90 days sober, its been years! I just found out that my application for another rehab has been submitted so hopefully I get in and can go straight after I graduate at this rehab in December. To think it was only 11 months ago I was laying in a comba fighting for my life from a almost successful suicide attempt then I went to a mental health treatment centre at the start of the year, dad lost his battle to addiction in march that was devastating i will never forget the moment i found out and how i just broke down and fell to pieces because he was my best friend, then I hit the drugs hard, hardest i ever have to the point where I was at deaths door myself following dad in his footsteps which was the plan then suddenly when I had completely giving up i got into detox then rehab and now 91 days clean and sober like wow! I h...
Post a Comment
Read more

Halfway there

As of Wednesday I will be 9 weeks into rehab, I have learnt alot about the disease of addiction but most of all i have learnt alot about myself and my self worth has grown. I have learnt that i am a good hearted person and when i put my mind to something there is no stopping me. I have made some awsome friends and am exercising everyday as well as eating healthy regular meals so as you can imagine i feel fantastic! I have also picked up a new hobbies, I now write poems! im currently writing 2 a day in hopes to publish my very own book of poems, I discovered the love of poem writing through being given the opportunity to do a poem for the talent show at rehab, as i wrote my poem for rehab it just flowed naturally and now has become apart of my everyday life. I don't ever see myself turning to drugs again but you never know when you are an addict, one thing about being an addict is you can never let your guard down because that is when the disease of addiction will strike. I attend...
Post a Comment
Read more

New beginnings

I havnt posted in a while but life has turned around for the better and is so wonderful now! I am proud to be clean and sober since 27th July 2023 which is when I entered detox. The first 3 days were the hardest I have ever done at one point I was hunched over in the nurses room with one rubbing stuff into my neck another getting me to sniff Tiger balm oil while another got me valiums and anti nausea tablets, but I made it through however I will never forget that experience, I much would have rather had the flu however I needed to go through it, I spent 11 days in detox. Now im in rehab for the next 16 weeks and I love it here, the wild life is amazing, im so happy and I wake up super early everyday , im always smiling. The program is full on but I can handle it and they love me here, ive been giving good feedback my case manager told me that im a big personality and to remember that not everyone is like me and that sometimes I need to tone it down a bit haha, I literally make eve...
2 comments
Read more

Im at the end

Its been a while since my last blog post and im going to keep this one short. So good news, Im going to detox in a week, that means I just have to stay alive for one more week. I became a priority when I started having blackouts/passing out without warning, apparently its not a good sign, basically means your body has had enough. In detox they take your phone, so for 8 days I will be without a phone whilst I have the biggest come down of my life. I miss my kids so much but i have a plan to get them back. When I look at myself i can see I look sick or something, lately I have felt as though im walking on a fine line between death and living, its a weird feeling and I've never felt like that before. I pray i don't die. Last week I had to get a ECG on my heart and a blood test, my heart wasn't right but im not surprised , i went to one place for the blood test and the woman nearly cried when she looked at my arms and saw all the bruises and track marks all over my arms, she ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Possible Light at the End of the Tunnel

I havnt posted a blog in i think maybe a week, mainly because I tried to detox for a few days on my own with my mates help and encouragement and let me just say it was not pretty, I had a severe anxiety attack at one point and just cried for 3 hours straight just hating on myself and my life, thinking about my children and my family and what they must be going through, I havnt seen them in 6 or 7 weeks now. My family don't even bother to ring me anymore because they know I probably won't answer so they text me instead which im much more comfortable with, but yesterday my amazing and very beautiful nan who means the whole friggin world to me rocked up at my door after not seeing me for a month and half and obviously I had to answer the door because I couldn't turn anyone away let alone my own family, I opened the door and there was my little nan standing there on the other side with a look of sadness in her face and eyes and she said "I just needed to see you" an...
Post a Comment
Read more