Claire Margaret
Long time, no post! sorry about that! I was sick for 2 weeks like actually sick so i was isolating and honestly i have a auto immune disease called "Hashimoto's Disease" so when I get sick I dont half ass it, I actually get real sick! But I came good the end of last week and got to see one of my daughter's play football on mothers day and she did fantastic, this is her 5th year in football as well as my youngest son and my oldest daughter is in her first year of playing footy and she is a natural and dont those footy outfits suit all 3 of them!!!
Yesterday I did my usual 6 weekly self care and got my nails done! My attention span was shot yesterday... my ADHD was realy playing up, to sit there through having my nails done was actually extremely difficult to the point where my hands and arms started twitching because I felt like I needed to burst with energy and run in circles or something, normally I am able to force myself to relax and unwind when I get my nails done but anyways as you can see they are a soft pink, suggested colour from my daughter and sister as they didnt like my bright orange nails before! I know I have said it before but this little bit of self care means so much to me because when I was in active addiction I couldnt do things like this because I had no money and was too busy off my face not knowing what day it was let alone what time of day it was and couldn't even walk a straight line even if I tried.
Yesterday was a busy day I woke up and looked in the nirror and thought 'you look smaller", so I weighed myself and sure enough I have lost another 5 kgs,but im not surpised as I havent really had much of an appetite when I was sick and still dont and I did so much walking since friday last week and caught so many trams, trains and even a bus because friday I had my corrections appointment then I travelled to my nans to stay the weekend then sunday morning I had to catch a bus and 2 trains to see my daughter play football and go out to lunch for mothers day with mt sister,my kids and my nephew which was great! then I had to get 2 trains back and a bus to my nans to pick up my stuff then a train home and then a tram and then i walked the rest of the distance home and junped straight into a shower which was amazing because I felt gross! Hygiene is a big thing for me and I cant stand it when someone doesnt wash there clothes regularly or wash themself and more importantly brush their teeth twice a day! I cant stand bad breath and the first thing people notice on your face when you smile is your teeth so yeah maintain them!
Anyways so yesterday i got up early to go to a job appointment at the job agency because my payments have been put on hold because I didnt meet the points requirements for the fortnight because I didnt understand how to earn points but definitely have been applying for jobs like alot of jobs, but the man at the job agency showed me what to do so I completed the tasks to earn 40 points within the next 18 days so now I dont have to worry about it until my next appointment at the end of the mobth I then did some food shopping spent close to $150 so I have food for the next 2 weeks and then I walked down to the nail place and got my nails done! they charged me a extra $15 because I paid with card! so next time I will be going in with cash which is what I normally do. I also had my mental health review with the doctor and my mental health worker, i was happy to see my worker as she went away for 5 weeks and I really felt her absence and couldnt connect with the replacement worker while she was away, the doctor said they have groups at the clinic like walking groups and other ones and he really thinks I could benefit from attending them and I think I will, they also want me to do a fasting blood test, so I will do that friday which is tomorrow in the morning because one of my medications needs to have regular blood tests to check the levels in my system to make sure I am on the right dose, its the mood stabiliser I was put on back in January this year and as I said in my previous blog posts its only been the past month or so that I have really started to notice the effect of this mood stabiliser, like with all medications it can take a few months before you get the full effect and for it to stabilise in your body. Than my housing worker came over and she said she was having no luck with finding me a place and suggested I start looking for alternative housing such as rooming houses, I wasnt too keen on the idea but I have to be out of where I am in the city by 4th January no ifs or buts then after she left I had a lay down and then my friend Bec called me and I told her the housing situation and she suggested I try this thing called "Flatmates" so I had a look and made a profile and couldnt believe how many rooming places there were and the homes look relatively new, so I messaged a few and the first thing I said was "if you have parties or drink alcohol or do drugs then tell me straight away as I will look elsewhere", most of the places are located in Berwick which would make me closer to my kids, as I dont drive because my license is cancelled until May 2027 and honestly even when I get ny license back I dont know if I will drive again, public transport is cheaper and you can actually go to alot of places, its more convenient than most people realise and you get to skip any traffic as transport has right of way! I ended up falling asleep early last night and I woke up around 2am this morning to go to the toilet and then what do you know my period had arrived, finally after 2 weeks of being non existent and very late but this time I didnt get any warning signs so hopefully that means it will be a good quick cycle, unlike the last 2 cycles.
Im pretty sure my relationship is over as had a disagreement sunday and he hasnt even bothered to contact me and just other little things that have been bothering me for a while now just arent improving and im okay with that, so i plan on enjoying single life again until im ready to find someone preferably more compatible with me, but I am bisexual and it has often crossed my mind to be with a woman as I think I prefer that better but ny nan cant accept that and asked me to find a male but at the end of the day its my decision, but right now it isnt a priority. My corrections officer called me on tuesday and said theres a warrant for my arrest for missing judicial monitoring so hopefully I just get arrested and bailed instead of arrested and remanded until I see a judge and then the judge decides wether or not they want to bail me or have me finish my orders in lock up for either 3 months or until the end of my orders in February next year... I feel like this is stuffing up my plans to start my drug and Alcohol certificate at RMIT University in July this year when I am so ready to start it but because im on a treament order as well that means i have to take any inpatient treatment my corrections officer tells me to do and the magistrate really wants me to go back to rehab as part of the order which was made November last year but I am almost 9 months clean so its like whats the point when you could give that spot in rehab to someone who really needs it but because its court ordered and apart of my sentencing I have to do it so how the heck am I going to start my journey to a career that I am passionate about in july this year????
Anyways im thinking of going back to my old psychologist even though she cost $200 a session with a $140 rebate and I saw her for 4 years straight because this new psychologist I have been seeing since october last year is really inconsistent and unreliable and doesnt follow through with things.
Anyways thats about it from me! Hopefully I will make time to write another blog post Thursday next week.
Claire
XO
Comments