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It’s just the way I feel

Claire Margaret
Joined a schizophrenic Facebook group for support ect. Maybe meet some like minded people… I’m not trying to be rude or judgemental with what I’m about to say but i honestly question if majority of the people on this group actually have schizophrenia with some of the things that are said or asked… either that or my experiences with living with schizophrenia are really bad and intense đŸ˜³đŸ¤·‍♀️đŸ˜… like I can’t not take my meds or miss even one depot injection each month because I become so severely unwell that my reality is beyond distorted and at times I get “schizophrenic rage” and always end up in the psych ward in AME which is the acute part security gets called on me everyday multiple times a day I get put into seclusion for hours and injection after injection like I have been physically and chemically restrained so many times when I am unwell and to be honest I can’t even remember half of it I just wake up one day and go where the fuck am I then it’s oh I’m in the psych ward which is shortly followed by how long have I been here for and why you got me in AME where there is literally nothing but furniture that’s made of foam… yah I don’t talk about this shit ever but I’m sick and tired of seeing people act up and seek symptoms and then pretend they have them when they don’t when there are really people out here who are severely mentally complexed, people who genuinely can not go without meds, people who genuinely battle with severe mental illness, everyone has a story yes but some people just need to not say or ask certain things because at the end of the day if your asking a certain question seeking lengthy real life shit stories from a person with complex mental illness then your really not that bad are you and to top it off you then play on other people’s real life stories, like no, I’m over it… it’s almost as bad as everyone suddenly claiming they have ADHD all of a sudden… how the heck does every adult suddenly have ADHD! Little do they know that there are 2 types of ADHD 1 is where you can’t organise yourself and another is where you are beyond organised and have to write lists, concentration is bad usually, can get overstimulated, either sensory seeking or sensory avoidant, can’t do certain things based on the severity of there ADHD, struggled growing up in school because of there ADHD like you don’t just wake up one day as an adult and go oh hey I have ADHD like no! I actually do struggle with ADHD I have a support worker to help me do things like attend appointments and go shopping because I become overwhelmed and can hear everything I get a bit sensory overloaded, I get lost in big shopping centres, it doesn’t matter how many times I travel somewhere I still never pick up the route from the back of my hand I still always need to use a map, I don’t know how to swim because when I was a kid I did swimming lessons but achieved nothing because there was to much going on around me and it overstimulated my senses so I couldn’t focus on the swimming teacher, I was terrible in school so I mostly played sports to get through and i mean I literally have all my school reports my mum gave me years ago and yeah they’re pretty shocking right through primary school and high school except for when it came to sports, I literally write lists since I was a little kid just so I can organise myself , I’m almost 33 years old and I have a occupational therapist who has been working with me on my sensory issues because according to him I am sensory avoidant at times and sensory seeking like I’ve actually learnt a lot about myself from the OT … anyways point being ADHD affects so many things in a persons life like how do all these adults just suddenly have it all of a sudden … I know this is a long post but honestly I just needed to say this shit out right , I never go into detail about my diagnosis ect. But I just felt I needed to this time… honestly probs going to delete this post tbh. I’m just sick of people claiming to be something they aren’t like why would you want to be this way anyways … this isn’t fun, it’s debilitating! Nobody wants to be a grown ass adult and need a shit load of support around them because they can’t do shit like wtf, just be quiet, I’m sick of hearing about it! love claire Xxx
Location: Camberwell VIC 3124, Australia

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