This isn't really a blog entry that anyone who has an emotional connection and loves me should read as its probably going to be a bit too raw and confronting.
The first photo is my Facebook page for 'Recovering Loud and Proud' please follow me if you're interested in my journey or seeking support yourself or whatever reason other then negativity... I also have my merchandise ive created but yet to be made as I'm waiting to see if this all kicks off and I can build a online community/online family across the world where we can go and vent without judgement, share ideas, offer support ect.
As for the second photo, I find to be a little confronting. This is a photo I can't remember taking sometime last week. I guess i wanted to see how i looked straight after i had a shot of meth. Its not a pretty site, this is me at some stupid hour of the night meeting up with a dealer outside a car wash to score in another suburb and then pulling down a deserted street weighing up 1.5 in a clean baggies then filling a syringe with 30 units of water, squirting it into the bag dissolving what looks like crystals and then holding the syringe up straight tapping out all the air bubbles then tying my arm up and sticking it into my vein then releasing the tourniquet once ive hit it then pushing the plunger in, whitin 5 seconds the warm rush starts to go through my whole body up my arm into my chest as it hits my heart my heart begins to slow then as the rush runs down my body to my toes the adrenaline kicks in and my heart starts pumping as hard as it can while my cheeks become hot and flushed, im so good at it that I don't even need any light to shooYong and that's not something im proud of.
I was hesitant to post this because to me it is a bit graphic and confronting and I really hope my loved ones don't read this post because its hard enough for them as it is. That rush could be so deadly so why do I do it for? that rush is addictive. I remember the days when I use to smoke meth instead of inject and they're 2 completely different highs, smoking it made me feel alert and awake, injecting it makes me feel like I've stepped into another realm of life for a good couple of hours im not even on the same planet as you.
I don't encourage injecting but if you do try and keep it to 1 point and space out the injections as it can be very dangerous and you can overheat your body very easily. Invest in some hydralyte which you can get from the chemist and have aspirin on hand to help your heart flow or any chest pain but take it within moderation and absolutely always STAY HYDRATED!!! And try and eat little bits here and there to keep the body going, even invest in some vitamins and never use alone.
I made it to 118 days clean and sober, woohoo! I am 13 weeks into rehab, I graduate on the 14th December 2023 then stick around until the 9th January 2024, then I am off to another rehab for a further 16 weeks until the end of April 2024. I feel so blessed to have all of these opportunities, I truly feel like I am just starting my life for the first time in 30 years. People at rehab have been commenting on my slight weight loss, ive been eating healthy and exercising everyday so it's about time! I feel great! drugs never made me thin if anything they made me really unfit, atleast now I have some form of a fitness level and muscle tone, im still a big girl but I will get there. I cant believe how well I look compared to when I was on the meth and GHB. I am so proud of myself! I have a plan for after rehab and thats to get a job in a animal shelter or a veterinary clinic, I have started a course in animal care whilst I am in rehab as I am very passionate about animals since I was
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