Skip to main content

Break Through

Last night I had a breakdown, I thought about my kids, I thought about my dad and I thought about my family. I just sobbed and sobbed for hours, I wanted to die. I had my mate with me and I just let it all out, I cried and said I couldn't stick one more needle in my arm or take one more plunge of juice (GHB) , he told me if that's what I wanted then I can do it, that he will be there for me over the next few days while I come down. I was so sure I was going to end my life last nigh because I was truly done. Day 1 and I feel like im going to throw up, shit myself, the sweats have started , my body hurts , my skin hurts and my head feels like its been bashed in. I can do this I just need to get through this. I couldn't wait to go to detox , I felt as though I was dying each time I shot up drugs, I truly didn't think I was going go make it to detox so im doing it now.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

118 days

I made it to 118 days clean and sober, woohoo! I am 13 weeks into rehab, I graduate on the 14th December 2023 then stick around until the 9th January 2024, then I am off to another rehab for a further 16 weeks until the end of April 2024. I feel so blessed to have all of these opportunities, I truly feel like I am just starting my life for the first time in 30 years. People at rehab have been commenting on my slight weight loss, ive been eating healthy and exercising everyday so it's about time! I feel great! drugs never made me thin if anything they made me really unfit, atleast now I have some form of a fitness level and muscle tone, im still a big girl but I will get there. I cant believe how well I look compared to when I was on the meth and GHB. I am so proud of myself! I have a plan for after rehab and thats to get a job in a animal shelter or a veterinary clinic, I have started a course in animal care whilst I am in rehab as I am very passionate about animals since I was

90 days!

yesterday I hit 90 days, I can not believe it, I am so proud of myself. The growth in the last 11 months is unbelievable , I don't know when the last time I was 90 days sober, its been years! I just found out that my application for another rehab has been submitted so hopefully I get in and can go straight after I graduate at this rehab in December. To think it was only 11 months ago I was laying in a comba fighting for my life from a almost successful suicide attempt then I went to a mental health treatment centre at the start of the year, dad lost his battle to addiction in march that was devastating i will never forget the moment i found out and how i just broke down and fell to pieces because he was my best friend, then I hit the drugs hard, hardest i ever have to the point where I was at deaths door myself following dad in his footsteps which was the plan then suddenly when I had completely giving up i got into detox then rehab and now 91 days clean and sober like wow! I h

New beginnings

I havnt posted in a while but life has turned around for the better and is so wonderful now! I am proud to be clean and sober since 27th July 2023 which is when I entered detox. The first 3 days were the hardest I have ever done at one point I was hunched over in the nurses room with one rubbing stuff into my neck another getting me to sniff Tiger balm oil while another got me valiums and anti nausea tablets, but I made it through however I will never forget that experience, I much would have rather had the flu however I needed to go through it, I spent 11 days in detox. Now im in rehab for the next 16 weeks and I love it here, the wild life is amazing, im so happy and I wake up super early everyday , im always smiling. The program is full on but I can handle it and they love me here, ive been giving good feedback my case manager told me that im a big personality and to remember that not everyone is like me and that sometimes I need to tone it down a bit haha, I literally make eve